WERD TO YA MUTHA!
todd
Andy
keeble
eatit
beto

 


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daddy

WE HAVE TWO WIENERS!

JK...LOL We have 2 winners though! Congrats guys! Can't wait for your pics!

deathrat




JUST SAW THE STUFF WE'RE GIVING AWAY!

I gotta tell you, you will not be dissapointed if you're a comedy fan! Be sure to ENTER THE SWEEPSTAKES!



tejastodd

OK, so I'm walking down the hall at work this morning, and I hear Todd on the phone with the guys down in Texas. And he's trying to sound all Texan again. Saying "Y'all" and stuff. What a LOSER!

He's not even from a real Texas town, He's from Corpus. Ever been there? Ugh. We went there for a "retreat" back in '08 and it was like we'd stepped into a low budget remake of Florida circa 1985. What a dump! Keeble and Montgomery both got sick on some Jumbo Shrimps they ate. Luckily I planned ahead and brought several cans of Vienna Sausages!

Anyways, Todd thinks it's so cool now, that we have a bureau in Austin and Houston...whatevs! He keeps saying we're going to go down there again and "Party" with the guys some weekend. Yeah right, who's buying the bus tickets? Anyhoo, I wish he'd go back to Texas and stay there. Idiot.


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Father Keeble and Darryl just got a new camera and some video software and made this! We're going Global!!!!

HEY EVERYBODY, WE KEEP GETTING BROKEN INTO!

I don't know what the hell is wrong with the world! Our offices got broken into for the fifth time in under a year. Father Keeble lost his beloved Karaoke Jambox, I lost my autographed copy of ***, Todd lost his new netbook and Beto lost his collection of photos of famous athletes in the locker room! Darryl made it unscathed again, but who'd want any of his crap anyways? His office smells like the restroom at a convienence store!

DOWN WITH GONORRHEA!

andy-cause

Thanks to all of you who came out to the First Annual "Andy Cohen & Families Against Gonorrhea BBQ and Sack Race". I'd like to personally apologize for the lack of side dishes - specifically the potato salad that Todd© and his new "girlfriend" promised to bring. (they were probably too busy sucking face and giving each other foot massages to come out and help us fight gonorrhea!) I'd also like to take a moment to apologize for the chaos that ensued when the Sheriff's Department arrived shut down the festivities early. I didn't realize the terms of my probation prohibited me from being less than 50 feet from alcoholic beverages or children under the age of consent. And I still feel that there was no need for the officers to draw their weapons!

And finally, I'd like to make a special apology to all of the parents for the "Eff Gonorrhea!" t-shirts I handed out on Saturday. I was very explicit with my printer that the shirts were to read "Don't Eff Gonorrhea!". I apologize for the mixed message this most certainly must have sent to your children.

This years event was an unprecedented hit! We raised nearly $135 to help combat this silent killer! Thanks for making it a success! Don't forget to collect that pledge money!

Anyhow, next years "Andy Cohen & Families Against Gonorrhea BBQ and Sack Race!" is already being planned and is scheduled for Saturday November 5, 2011. So get ready for a great time of food, fun, and fellowship!

BOTW
Tim& Eric's Zone Theory


Something's Cooking!


HENRY KAISER!





Free FATHER'S DAY CARD featuring Palmer "I SIT ON YOU" Scott of Tim & Eric fame now available for download! Get it before it's too late!
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TODD REVIEWS©! AVATARI SPECIAL EDITION
REVIEW - with ALL NEW Bonus Features!

FamilyJewelsWow what a grate movie I have just saw! It's called George Cameron's Avatari and it's about an ancient race of Smurfs who like to shoot arrows and ride dinosaurs...

TODD REVIEWS©! TERMINATOR 4!

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HOLLYWOOD! Sheen To Play Superman©?

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NEWS! Big Boned Baller Brings It!

FamilyJewels(Fresno, CA) – Local "big-boned" accountant, Marlon Williams, is still a "pretty damn good athlete...for a total fat ass” witnesses reported Sunday...

TODD REVIEWS©! There Will Be Bloods.

FamilyJewelsWow, what a agressive movie I have just seen! This movie is very strong with anger and blood use! And is not for the skweemish or the elderly...

HOLLYWOOD! Fantasies Do Come True!

FamilyJewelsJust when I decided there was no God, George Clooney made me rethink my stance on Divinity by announcing that he has signed on to produce, and star in...

NEWS! Woman Regrets "Rocking Out"

FamilyJewels(Nashville, TN) Local 3rd Grade teacher Sarah Wilkerson says she regrets her decision to "act like she was a member of a rock group" at the Canyon Creek Singles Mixer...

POLITICS! A Hip Hopper Goes to Washington!

FamilyJewelsIn an apparent effort to reconnect with young urban minorities, and garner some much needed "Street Cred", President Obama announced earlier this week...

TODD REVIEWS©! Iron Mans!

FamilyJewelsWow, my bosses sure like me so much!! Last night at the 25th Annual WMTDS employee appreciation dinner and dance, my lady boss, Mrs. Douglas...

TODD REVIEWS©! BLACK SWANS!

FamilyJewelsWow what a strange Movie I just saw! The movie was called Black Swans and it starred Natali Portland of Star War Fames! In this movie she playes...

WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?

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