BIG BONED BALLER STILL HAS IT!

Williams taking a quick "Good Luck" puff between innings.

(Fresno, CA) – Local "big-boned" accountant, Marlon Williams, is still a "pretty damn good athlete...for a total fat ass” witnesses reported Sunday. Williams, rounding out a trio of friends in the national 'Hoop-It-Up!'© Tournament in Fresno this past weekend, astounded on-lookers as he “pounded the ball inside”, “dominated the paint” and “made it rain threes”.  Moving like a latter-day Charles Barkley, Williams was at home and in rare form on the make shift court, located on the parking lot of Frank’s Paint-and-Dry. Thanks to Williams’ heroics his team, “Da Numba Crunchas” made it to the second round before losing to the trio of “Nuttin' Butt Swish!” the first openly gay team ever to win the 'Hoop-It-Up!'© Tournament.
 
Jeff Smith, the referee in the hotly contested second round match up,
was impressed with Williams’ ability on the court. “It’s obvious that at one time Mr. Williams was a promising athlete until the allure of twinkies, chili dogs, most likely dripping with ranch sauce and 200 ounce soft drinks took over his life. He's probably not long for this world, but man! That fat bastard can play!”
 
Others echoed Smiths’ sentiment. Williams’ former high school coach, Antonio Reed, praised his former student’s ability to play even though his midsection was surrounded with 75 pounds of life threatening, artery clogging fat. “Aside from the fact that he's a walking heart attack, he did alright. But he do need to drop some pounds if you feel me. That" pointing at Williams "ain’t right!” 

Williams was proud as he leaned against his Geo Tracker struggling to breath in the adulation. “Man... Reminds me... of the old days... in high school." Bending over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath, Williams gives the 'Just a second' sign with one hand and then continues "You... should have... seen me back then.”


UPDATE!
Nuttin' Butt Swish's Triumphal victory at the 2011 Hoop-It-Up© Tournament has now been documented in the soon to be released "Nuttin' Butt Swish: How America's First Openly Gay Basketball Team is Changing the Game." Due out this Summer from WhoMadeThatDirtySound Books. Look for it wherever that type of thing is sold!