Local Jogger Gets Second Wind
by Armando Ramirez

(Seattle, Washington) Onlookers report novice jogger Eddie Charles got an incredible second wind as he rounded the bend near the Sculpture of Zeus in Discovery Park this past Sunday. Jim Dunn, a mortgage broker, was flabbergasted by what he saw. "This guy, not in the best shape mind you, just...had an incredible burst of speed as I looked on. Man-Alive, it was something!"
 
Others watched, mouths agape, as Charles, an Electrical Engineer by trade, nearly doubled his rate of speed from a slow trundle to an hippo-like jog. Elizabeth Smith, watching her children play in the park, was amazed as she saw the superhuman feat of endurance unfold right before her very eyes. "It really was a triumph of the human spirit. It was mind and body operating in perfect harmony. I feel blessed to have seen it," she stated, wiping tears from her eyes as her children looked on with concern."Luckily I was able to hold it together long enough to snap a picture to put on my facebook® site!"
 
"Fat man run fast," Elton, Smith's eldest child commented when asked about the phenomena.
 
Charles, when asked about his amazing feat answered, "I keep my iPod shuffle on random,  just as I was rounding the bend, "It's My Life" [by Billy Joel] came on. I felt like I could fly!"
 
Several witnesses of the event are circulating a petition which would force City Council to vote on their motion to erect a statue commemorating the happening.

"We've got a f*cking statue of Zeus! Nobody's believed in that god in like a hundred years!" said Trevor Wilkins, a local musician who has written a song honoring Charles entitled "I Know I Can, Because He Did."

Armando is a freelance writer and contributor to WHOMADETHADIRTYSOUND. He lives in Seattle with his girlfriend Sarah and their daughter, Rambo.