I just heard that Lady Gaga has a new perfume that's gonna smell like blood and seminal fluid. Hotdamn, why didn't I think of that? Hell, add in a little essence of butthole, and you gals will have every straight man in the bar swarming on you like flies on cowsh*t! I know when I go drinking and some little doll comes and sits next to me smelling like flowers or some sh*t like that, all I can think is "Hey, would you mind? I'm looking to get my freak on tonight! If you want some of this, you gonna need to go roll around on the floor of a peepshow booth, and smear some blood on yourself first! I just can't perform without them smells, if you know what I mean. Add in a little outhouse, and Darryl's gonna give you a night you'll never forget!"

P.S. Whatever happened to Madonna?

In this new direct-to-DVD release from Lukas Films, school teacher-cum-adventurer Indiana Jones finds himself in deep doodoo while milling around the Brazilian rainforest. Pursued by Nazi War criminal Joseph Mengele and a horde of undead lemurs, our beloved hero has no choice but to try to "blend in" with the colorful locals. Unfortunately for Dr. Jones the locals don't wear shoes...or anything else! Maybe now we'll find out why they call him junior! Look for Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Boto in time for Summer.

UPDATE! ILM's CG LEMURS LEAKED!

The magicians at ILMS have out done themselves again. Forget "Crystal Skull's" CG groundhog, or the army of Chimpanzees that helped Mutt evade ceratin death! No the Hordes of Undead Lemurs featured in "Boto" have become the hallmark of cg jungle dwellers!