Don't be fronting!
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by Darryl Montgomery

gagaI just heard that Lady Gaga has a new perfume that's gonna smell like blood and seminal fluid. Hotdamn, why didn't I think of that? Hell, add in a little essence of butthole, and you gals will have every straight man in the bar swarming on you like flies on cowsh*t! I know when I go drinking and some little doll comes and sits next to me smelling like flowers or some sh*t like that, all I can think is "Hey, would you mind? I'm looking to get my freak on tonight! If you want some of this, you gonna need to go roll around on the floor of a peepshow booth, and smear some blood on yourself first! I just can't perform without them smells, if you know what I mean. Add in a little outhouse, and Darryl's gonna give you a night you'll never forget!"

P.S. Whatever happened to Madonna?

by Hugo

FantasyIsland2Just when I decided there was no God, George Clooney made me rethink my stance on Divinity by announcing that he has signed on to produce, and star in, the upcoming Fantasy Island film due out next summer. Adding to the likelyhood of a higher power Ggeorge's friend and fellow 'Ocean's' alum Matt Damon has undergone extensive body modification surgery in preparation for tackling the highly coveted role of Tattoo, Mr. Roarke's beloved yet mischievous man-pet. Dark Knight Director Christopher Nolan is set to direct what he promises to be a "much more serious take on the material." We wait with baited breath.

by Hugo

We are sad to announce that our long time cleaning lady, and part time model Pearl has left Who Made That Dirty Sound to pursue a career cleaning stuff up in Heaven... we hope. Always there with a hateful diatribe or a harsh word for the staff, Pearl was very near and dear to our hearts. The world won't be the same without you Pearl. May your Judgment be swift and merciful.